not for our eyes: inspired by a cold night →
STOP LISTENING TO ME. LISTEN TO THIS MAN. go to his tumblr to do it though. because i’m a douche and don’t know how to post the whole thing here. then go listen to the Old 97’s. (if you disregarded my first statement and are still listening to me.) this is getting confusing. jmch: let this burn we looked up and we worshiped our observations currently, worshiping our...
what i didn't learn in youth group
I learned a lot at that little church turned giant. I had some good teachers and I learned some good lessons. No one ever told me, however, how tricky doing the right thing is. That thin line is blurred so badly that it’s almost invisible. In some places there isn’t even a line anymore. The right and wrong things overlap each other and you can’t just choose a side, you have...
I love the spearmint sting of brushing my teeth after the day’s last drag. The burn of a painful but necessary cleansing.
My mind has been an absolute train wreck for the past few weeks. Not a regular car wreck, but a train wreck. My mind knows exactly which tracks to follow. My mind is attached to those tracks. Yet my mind is always trying to be free. TRAIN. WRECK.
Every day we slaughter our finest impulses. That is why we get a heartache when...– Henry Miller, Sexus (via liquidnight)
I have an old friend (not old as in aged, old as in she’s been around my life for quite a while) who really thinks I’m cool. I mean really thinks that I hung the moon. Thinks I have life by the horns. Thinks that every cliche meaning- “man, she’s got her shit together” -is true about me. I’ve told her a million times that those things are not necessarily...
It takes a silly kind of confidence for one to admit he is a fool or a child. Not the same kind that it takes to grow up or wise up. Unless it is used as the first step to that process. But oftentimes in the however-many-step-to-recovery system; we spend far too long admitting, almost gleefully, that we have a problem. In fact, more often than not, that admission once repeated becomes more of a...
war and peace, to be quite trite
Sometimes I feel like the things I need to say are too big to write down. Like a pen can’t really capture a thought; like a sentence can’t really say what I feel. And then I remember these silly little words are all I have. My mind has been tangled up in war recently. I have this inner struggle between being repulsed by war and being in love with soldiers. Peace is the thing my...
I was looking for something on an old flash drive of mine. Didn’t find what I was searching for, but that didn’t stop me from finding many other things. I listened to Sarah Harmer sing Uniform Grey and in my mind I heard Trista Moser (not yet Lamb) standing on stage singing the words…”Well it was kinda hard to pull away. He said ‘Buck up baby, it’s okay. The...
up from below
Two and a half months of half-assed dieting has only gained me 2 pounds. I’m okay with that. It’s been a good few months. On that note, John and I started our running program last night. It’s nice to have a partner and a motivation. It has to be slightly embarrassing for him to basically be jogging alongside his girlfriend who is running her heart out and panting like an...
you are new wave in my ocean old, fresh chapters in my story told, quiet whispers to my voice bold, warm wind in my blistering cold. and i have not the water, the words, the weather, that will make you waste away. 3:25 pm 06/09/10
Among the saddest days in one’s life is the day one realizes they have outgrown their old heroes. More to come.
weight a minute
I have, in 3 months, lost 16.9 pounds. So I’m rounding up… I’ve lost 17 pounds! I have never lost, consecutively, more than 19.2 pounds. This is a time for me to re-evalutate my thoughts about the whole thing and really push forward. I have been excercising more than ever before, but now I really want to get that going hardcore. I don’t just want to lose weight by...
poetry in motion
…I wrote this poem for a friend of mine in love. It’s fluffy. But then again, so is love when it’s sweet and good and new. Good luck to you. Poetry in Motion Your lips are a haiku, So tiny and sweet. Your laughter is a limerick, About people dancing in the street. Staring, I try to sing, The sonnet in your eyes. Your name is a familiar lyric, I’ve already memorized. ...
what's missing in the kitchen
It’s almost 4 am, which for me means that sleep is the furthest thing from my mind. I’m listening to a million different versions of the song I’ll Fly Away on youtube right now and not one of them sounds as sweet as that song sounded from my Papaw’s kitchen when I was tapping enough toes for Mamaw and me both. I think if we all did each thing like it was the last time we...
if i had a website dedicated to funny things that politicians say and do, i would call it Things that Poli-tickle Me. if missy and i started a band, we would be called The Busty Ruckus. if i could have any job right now, i would be the girl back-up voice for Hayes Carll or Ryan Adams or somebody else completely sweet. if i was marrying John tomorrow, i would insist we dance to First Day of My...
Beatin’ down on my soul like a blue, blue rain, Like a Bob Dylan line that won’t let go of my brain. Lust is my problem and love’s my solution. While I figure which is which, I might drown in confusion. This feels like a coffin instead of a bed. I think I’m just sleepin’ but I feel like I’m dead. I’m stuck here suffocatin’ in my very own skin....
jinx. you owe me a coke zero.
I hate to type this because I’m afraid I’ll jinx it, but at the same time I’m getting to the point where I usually break down and need support to stay in the game anyway…so here goes. I’ve lost 12.4 pounds so far! I’ve been working on this for 6 weeks now, so it’s been a pretty steady 2 pound a week loss. That makes me happy because it’s...
Parisian Love Google →
Well, I must’ve missed this during the actual game, but it gave me goosebumps like a total nerd. forinstance: Super Bowl ads. This year companies bought an additional three minutes of advertising space compared to last year, making this year’s ads the longest in Super Bowl history. I watched a good bit of the game and TV spots, but wasn’t all that impressed. Now’s not the time to waste...
Success is counted sweetest By those who ne’er succeed. To comprehend a nectar Requires sorest need. Not one of all the purple host Who took the flag to-day Can tell the definition, So clear, of victory! As he, defeated, dying, On whose forbidden ear The distant strains of triumph Burst agonized and clear!
i got a feeling.
I’m not breaking out into a catchy party song. I just felt a lot today. Sometimes I like PMS or having a beer too many or staying up until I’m delirious because those things often force me into deep thought and make me feel the things I try to not feel most of the time. Not to be a Debbie Downer, but in the midst of all the wonderful things life has to offer there is also plenty to...
I seriously want to get out of here. I want to kick the tires and light the fires. I want to pack up my favorite t-shirts and an extra pair of jeans in my leather atlas suitcase. I want to get all my money out in cash and stuff it in my wallet. I want to bring my suitcase of old journals and a book or two that I’m reading. I want to drive alone and learn every word to every song Bob...
let me count the ways...
in which I am like Kirstie Alley. 1. I can be pretty hysterical at times…at least to myself. 2. Even to the people who really really love/like me, I’m still pretty obnoxious most of the time. 3. My out of control weight gain/loss. I seriously can’t just get fat or slim down. I’ve lost 6.1 pounds in the last 2 weeks, but I live in constant fear that I will give up...
how television affects my life
Earlier, I watched Hoarders. I was so motivated, all I could think about was cleaning the house. I am housesitting currently and tomorrow is cleaning day. I had never been more excited. Then, I watched the Vikings/Bears game and I constantly kept a watch on ESPN.com, only to finally win in the semi-finals of the fantasy football league I’m in. I celebrated as if I’d been...
meltdown not averted, but overcame
Ok, so I had a Christmas Eve meltdown, but Christmas was just perfect enough to make up for it. John got me a digital camera and a weekend trip to Louisville. (Isn’t that weird, Brooke?) I am seriously so excited! We always have so much fun when we get away from the world for a while. Oh, and also 6 white roses that were absolutely beautiful and so big. I got lots of other amazing...
I miss Christmas
I had a pretty good night tonight with John’s Grandma, mom, etc. It really was fun. However, on the way home to spend the rest of Christmas Eve by myself, I seriously cried. Unbelievable. I always knew I was very lucky to have Patricia Yvonne (Lea) Galloway as my momma, but I never really knew how lucky until tonight. Growing up wasn’t the easiest thing at times and our family...
i am working on my data entry. keep it coming.
forinstance: the post-test asks the student to check the line next to the race/culture they most closely identify with. Here is one student’s response: Other with a side note: I’m a giant talking squid. This gives me hope that there are some cool high school students left in the world.
at times time moves so fast that I think it overcompensates for the times when time stands still. 1:23 AM—02/12/09
John’s birthday is on the 22nd and we’re going out with tons of friends tonight to celebrate. I absolutely love celebrating people who mean a lot to me. I like that tonight is a night where everyone involved is there to celebrate how great John Lucas Gambill is. I feel like I celebrate that everyday, so it’s nice to have others in on the celebration. :) In case I didn’t...
if i were a boy.
When I was a little girl, all I wanted to be was a little boy. I wanted to get dirty and play sports and work with the cows. I didn’t want to shower or wear dresses or put on nail polish. Even at my 8th grade dance and prom, I rebelled against the beautiful dresses and wore outrageous outfits I’d be more comfortable in. Sexuality had nothing to do with it. I wanted to have a...
i'm a wii-ner.
forinstance: My right upper and lower arm is super sore because I get too into Wii tennis and can’t swing the remote unless I swing my entire arm. When I backhand , I really backhand. My skills are affecting me and it’s painful. Yeah. I’m in the exact same boat. I actually hit my friend Maurice really hard in the face with my serve one time. I also feel the need to step toward the...
self-help for normal people
I have a problem. I come up with ideas. And then I don’t do anything about them. haha. This idea is for a self-help motivational seminar. Of course, those who know me know that I believe Christ’s help is supreme. However, I also believe He gives us the tools inside ourselves for self-healing. So, this is the outline of the three classes that would be involved and a short...
I Shall Be Released
1. My new thing is making posters for my room. Because I’m awesome at it. 2. I have a slight addiction to the game Bejewled on my phone. Because I’m awesome at it. 3. Missy and I are trying to be healthy again. And less fat. We’re doing it together. Because I’m not awesome at it. 4. I am going to read 250 pages of a book tonight. I’m With the Band:...
a good man is hard to find
I am sick this weekend, so my plan was to stay home and recover. (Which included using a neti-pot, and coming from a girl who has to hold her nose when she swims- that was a big deal. They work, by the way. Like a freakin charm.) Anyway, John wasn’t going to come over and help me get better because he had actual things to accomplish and that was fine by me. Then last night he told me...
Coversating in the wee hours...
forinstance: Jolie: your breath smells. Me: because it’s early in the morning and it’s supposed to ( in a disgruntled voice because she woke me up super early on Saturday). Jolie: cover your mouth with your hair (strategically places a piece of my hair over my lips). Who wants a four year old? She’s potty trained, says please and thank you and can write her name? Any takers???!!! I’LL...
I was offered a job today that I really wanted but they want to pay me 7.50, which is only a quarter above minimum wage. I never think of myself in any way that is minimum or even a quarter above it. I want to be paid something fair to do something decent and to do it well. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, but I’m having trouble finding an employer that thinks the same way.
week four: 207.0!
Ok, this being said, I’m taking a hiatus. Not from the diet, but from the journaling about it. I will report back in a month about my changes. Still going to the gym, still eating right, starting to walk and weigh in with a friend in Dayton. Wish me luck. If I can lose ten pounds in the next month, I’ll be a happy camper. Also, next week is my one year anniversary with John! ...
week three: 208.9!
Ok. It could’ve been worse. Still, clearly not a great week in regards to actual pounds lost. BUT… I took a zumba class, which I would definitely recommend to anyone. So much fun. So much sweaty latin fun. AND… I got a gym membership! I know. Be proud. I plan on going every day that I am in town. Keep me accountable, my lovely friends. My abs are already burning. ...